Marriage: How We Laid A Foundation For Communication
When we first started dating, everything happened super fast. We just instantly clicked and spent all our free time together. After a few months, I started to feel overwhelmed; I was losing my identity, the focus of our relationship was not clear, and God definitely was not at the center.
I had a friend tell me about Today’s Letters. It was 100% the change our relationship needed at that time. Emily writes letters to her husband and posts them on her blog. They’ve evolved a lot from the beginning of her blog but one thing that she talks about is her Weekly Questions. Ronnie and I started emailing each other 4 of these 5 questions every Monday at work. We’d answer how we felt loved the past week, what our upcoming week looked like, how we could encourage each other, and how we could pray for each other.
It helped us focus on what the other was doing right in our relationship to love the other well. At the time we started doing these questions, there was a lot of selfish feelings of what the other person wasn’t doing correctly or enough of. Focusing on the positive was an encouragement to both of us and allowed us to really expand on what the other person did like. Praying for each other was something we started early on as well. Praying week after week for specific requests has allowed to us to see God move tremendously in our lives and relationship.
About 6 months ago we added a 5th question-How can I be better for you? This was a tough one! It really zeroed in on where we weren’t quite meeting the needs of the other person. It seemed like we would tell each other the same thing each week of how we could encourage each other, but then didn’t seem to actually reach that place.
I’ve saved every one of these emails that we’ve written back and forth to each other. My hope one day is to create a book for us to look back on at our “young love” and show our future children. I really encourage you to take a look at Emily’s blog and start using these questions in your own relationship. It’s changed us for the better and we’re forever grateful!